The End Of Life Companion: Touchstones For 
Those Who Love Someone Who Is Dying
 

                Contents

Introduction:
I Never Imagined Myself Facing Something Like This               1

To u c h s t o n e s                                                                        3

The Language of “Companioning”                                               4

Take a Deep Breath                                                                       4

Grieving Versus Mourning                                                            5

Philosophical Touchstones to Keep In Your Pocket                    6

Touchstone 1:
There Are No “Good Deaths” or “Bad Deaths”                            9

Rudy: A Meaningful Death                                                           9

Divine Momentum and The Search For Meaning                       16

What You Can Do to Help Foster
a Meaningful Death for Your Loved One:                                  18

Touchstone 2:


The Person Dying Has A Clear And Separate Responsibility

From Everyone Else                                                                    21


So what is included in the work
and responsibility of dying?                                                        23

How You Can Support Your Loved One
with Their Responsibility:                                                           29

Touchstone 3:
This Is The Theory Of Enoughness                                             31

What You Can Do to Honor
The Way Things Are At The Moment:                                       35

Touchstone 4:
We Need To More Frequently Practice Self Mercy                    37

What You Can Do To Foster
Self-Mercy and To Care for Yourself                                         40

The End of Life Companion’s Bill Of Rights                             40

Touchstone 5:
“Denial” Is A Term Often Misused And Misunderstoo             43

What You Can Do:                                                                     47

Touchstone 6:
“Letting Go” Cannot Be Coerced Or Mandated                        49

Companion With an Open Mind
and Open Heart                                                                          50

What You Can Do
Relative to “Letting Go” Words:                                                53

Touchstone 7:
Love Is More Powerful Than Pain                                             55

Ways You Can Trust Your Love
to Sustain and Guide You:                                                         59

Touchstone 8:
Hope Is Always Necessary, Quietly Present, Ever-Changing   61

What You Can Do to Foster Hope:                                           65

A Pocket Full of Touchstones and A Final Thought                 67